My WHY Made Me Cry

And what I want for my birthday

My birthday is coming up.

I am not usually someone to make a big deal about my birthday, but I was just thinking about what I want for my birthday from the Universe. I have so many big goals in life and lately I’ve been asking myself WHY I have these goals. So, when I sat down to tap in, before I got answers about any of these questions, I got messages. I’m “doing” too much. I need to “be” more. I need to focus on my WHY so it can help me navigate the things I say yes to. Btw, part of the reason I’m sharing this with you is because maybe it’ll help inspire you in some way too. I hope it does.

So, back to my why…

Why am I so passionate about frequency art and Healing House? Why do I have a podcast? Why am I so hell bent on getting The Daily Healing book published by Hay House? Why is my company called The Daily Healing and not something else? Why am I writing a substack about healing? Why do I feel so passionate about people learning to develop their intuition? I have a perfectly good life as is, and obviously I know that the health challenges of my friends and family and even myself have inspired my curiosity about wellness, but why am I so driven to do so many things in this space? Is it about money? No. Is it about acknowledgement? Maybe a little, but that doesn’t feel like a major part of it. What am I trying to do with it all?

And here was the answer…

I am doing all of this because it is my way of helping make the world a better place. My soul is here to do this work. As I’m writing this, tears are dropping on my cheeks because I’ve never put this into thoughts or words before. It feels like something is moving through me that has nothing to do with me and I need to honor and trust it. This is about something bigger.

There’s a part of me that feels like I’m making up for lost time. I was distracted for so long. But I needed to be distracted in order to know what wasn’t my path. And right now, my path is wide, but not as wide as it used to be. As I continue on this journey, the path narrows (it already has believe it or not) and I become more focused. As I check things off my list either through accomplishment or realization, the path narrows more. And I become more aligned with who I am and WHY I’m here.

There’s another part of me that has felt like something is wrong, that I’m doing all of these things for nothing. But the drive in my gut is so strong, I can’t ignore it. I tried that. Didn’t work. Although I feel like I’m pushing so many boulders up the hill and not seeing the results I hope for, I keep doing it anyway. I guess right now, I’m taking a moment to make sure the boulders I’m pushing are worth it. When I take a moment to step back to look at all that I’ve done over the years, I have to pause.

If anyone else had done the things I’ve done, I’d without a doubt be inspired and amazed. The list is long. No one can call me lazy.

But because I am me, I feel frustrated. Sure, this is part of my generator 3/5 human design, but there’s more to it. I have to try lots of things to learn from them and then teach others so they can skip my mistakes and do their great work. I guess that’s the point. By doing all the things I’m doing, I may not have huge numbers in my audience (yet?) but the ones I do have, the people who read my work and view my art, the people who come to Healing House and leave a couple clicks higher in frequency, the ones I inspire to see the world differently, the clients I help reach their potential… that’s the gift. That’s my why.

I’m not doing this so I can be Mel or Tony Robbins. I don’t want that level of attention on me. I like my privacy. If I’m being totally honest, I want to be able to reach people in a way that inspires them to verbally tell their friends about my work. I don’t want to be on social media. I don’t. I feel it lower my frequency just about every time I’m on it. If I could have a team that filmed my content and put it out for me and I never had to engage with anyone, I would do that in a second. You should have heard the sigh that came out when I wrote that. Clearly something to work toward. Ha! Adding it to my list.

I love face to face interaction. I love when I read a client my channeling after their quantum healing hypnosis session and they realize they were able to tap in and access their higher self. I love watching the faces at Healing House and seeing people smile and laugh and connect with one another. I love answering questions about my art when people realize the potential it holds for healing. I love when I can help people trust their intuition. THAT fills my cup. That provides proof that what I’m doing is working to make the world a better place.

Maybe I need to make some tweaks. Maybe my substack needs more video so I can chat with people face to face. Spend less time staring at the screen. Maybe the book becomes a vehicle for me to speak at more workshops and events so I can see my work lift hearts and souls.

Maybe that’s where the path gets a little more narrow.

Now, back to my birthday…

Know what I’d love? I would love your insights. I’d love to know what you think my sweet spot is. What you see so clearly about me, even if it is something you think I’m doing “wrong”. I want to hear it.

If you’ve worked with me in some way and experienced a noticeable positive transformation, I’d love to hear that too. I want to hear what you need from me to understand my work in a way that makes you want to tell others about it.

I want my work to have a positive impact on the world, but I need more feedback.

If there’s something I haven’t done that you’re waiting for, tell me about it. I want to give that to you. For you. For the world. So we can make this place even better, together.

You in?